The Hardest Thing I've Ever Experienced

Today's challenge is "what is the hardest thing you have ever expirenced.' A challenge like that takes some great deal of thought.

The thing that comes to my mind is when I was sent home early from my mission due to a broken foot and had my Grandma Jackson pass away two weeks later. Those were the hardest weeks I have ever had to cope with.

 I was visiting a doctor in Panama, to check on my foot. It had been hurting for the past 2 months, but I didn't think much of it. It had started to swell and hurt to walk on. I went to the city on a friday to visit a doctor in Panama. He did an x-ray and an MRI and found out that I had broken my foot. I went to my President's house and he called the Mission Doctor, who told us that I needed to be sent home in order to recouperate. It was unreal. I couldn't believe that I was being sent home because of my foot. I felt sick to my stomach and didn't want to call home and tell them what happened.  My President ended up making the call. I of course was bawling and feeling so disappoint. Then they booked my flight and two days later I was headed home. And of course everything has to go wrong, flight booked and stranded with no phone or american like money. Luckliy a woman let me borrow her cell phone to call home and Blake.

 Eventually I got home a day later. Then began the spirtual, mental, and physical toll from the stress of being home and not on my mission. There were so many nights struggling with the foot pain and the mental toll of what to do. I prayed every night with the hope that I would be guided on what to do. I was put in a cast non weight bearing and went on the road of recovery with injections and physical therapy.  The hardest part during that time was that I was that I upset and asking why me. I was blaming God and myself for why I was sent home. I was a very obident missionary and I was trying my hardest out there. I just didn't understand the why of it all.

Two-three weeks later my Grandma Jackson suffered with a heart attack and passed away. My parents were gone to Denver to take care of the situation. I was with Cambria at  home alone. So many tears were shed and that overall feeling of loss. I had never expirence death so close to home before. It was unreal.  I had every bit of faith in the world that she would make it, but God has a different plan. That's when I knew that I was sent home for a reason. Even if it was to be with Cambria that one night. After that the realization of what I was suppose to do next came. Start an online Social Media Mission and  begin online schooling. And on those hard nights  when I would get down, I could feel my grandmother with me and the feeling of her rubbing my feet like she always did. And every time I leave the house I can hear her say "Be Careful!"

Even though that was the hardest time in my life thus far, I still walked away with any understanding of trials.